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Types of Pussy

Discussion in 'Comedy & Humor' started by Dennis, Apr 1, 2007.

  1. Dennis

    Dennis R.I.P.

    Types of Pussy

    1) Expensive Pussy: Most pussy falls into this definition. Expensive
    Pussy can be recognized by the following - fur coats, $500 dresses,
    spandex, bright colored shorts, and shirts with greek letters on them.
    98% of good pussy falls into this category.

    Advantages: If you can afford it, it will be great. Disadvantages: Many,
    mostly in the form of checking account depletion.

    Often not worth it.

    2) Cheap Pussy: Very rare. Usually comes in the form of a girlfriend of
    yours who will not go away no matter what you do. Cheap Pussy can be
    recognized by the following - she will often pay for dinner, understands
    when you are broke, calls every day, wants it constantly, easily hurt,
    but shakes it off.

    Advantages: Inexpensive, guaranteed, loving, will try anything once and
    sometimes twice. You're lucky if you find this.

    Disadvantages: Won't go away, possessive, bugs you all the time, can
    keep you from the tasks of finding other pussy, will eventually want to
    get married and/or have children soon thus ruining it.

    Often not worth it.

    3) Hired Pussy: Found in the Hollywood area of Southern Cal and in every
    other large city in the US and abroad. Recognized by scanty clothes and
    come-hither looks. Expense varies greatly with the quality. The
    difference between Hired Pussy and Expensive Pussy is that the money is

    Advantages: You don't have to stick around, won't tell your girlfriend,
    doesn't care who you are or what you look like, often very experienced,
    usually cheaper than Expensive Pussy.

    Disadvantages: More expensive than Cheap Pussy in the long run, risk of
    disease is high, is illegal in most areas and the risk of jail time is

    Often not worth it.

    4) Virgin Pussy: This type is getting rarer each day. Recognized by
    conservative clothes, good manners, and a marked distaste for dirty
    jokes and porno movies. Can be very loving if you promise marriage, but
    will cause you more problems as you go along. Frustration level is high
    as Virgin Pussy tends to want to stay that way for some unknown reason.

    Advantages: Risk of disease is very low, will offer a very tight "fit"
    if it gives in, sometimes open to new experience, will often offer
    "other" services if Virginity is to be maintained.

    Disadvantages: Usually will not give in until marriage, will cause
    discomfort upon use, not very imaginative, not usually into using birth
    control which can cause "accidents", can only be used once.

    Usually not worth it unless you're into that sort of thing.

    5) Nympho Pussy: Very rare. Recognized by the tendency to drag you by
    your balls into bed and going at it to the point of exhaustion Very
    experienced, will teach you things you never knew. Expense varies
    depending on level of Nymphomania.

    Advantages: Will send you into la-la land, will try anything once.

    Disadvantages: You are probably not the only one, thus disease risk can
    be high, will tire you out and ask for more, can be unstable, will not
    give a steady relationship.

    Often not worth it.

    6) Frigid Pussy: Less rare. See (4) for recognition. Difference is that
    this Pussy will not yield no matter what. Any expense involved is simply
    wasted (unless you are into real frustration) .

    Advantages: There are no advantages.

    Disadvantages: Too many to list here. Best to stay away once recognized.

    Never worth it.

    7) Innocent Nympho Pussy: Rare. Recognized by being in a small, sweet,
    innocent package which you would never in a million years think would
    give in, but when it does, you are in for a hell of a surprise. Often
    mistaken for (4). Expense varies, but usually falls into the cheaper

    Advantages: The surprise is blissful. Always worth it. Keep it if you

    Disadvantages: If (4) is mistaken for (7), serious consequences may
    result. May or may not be faithful.

    8) Party Pussy: Found at bars and at parties. Recognized by glass of
    wine in hand and bloodshot eyes. Will engage in group festivities while
    completely ripped. Expense usually covers drinks. Make sure you are not
    ripped as to better enjoy the experience.

    Advantages: Easy to obtain unless you are real unlucky. Be sure to say
    the right things.

    Disadvantages: Disease risk is high, will not usually remain faithful,
    the Support System may tend to puke all over you.

    Often not worth it.

    9) Nutsy Pussy: Support System has psychological problems. Recognized by
    the fact that she will go out with you, then spill her problems on you.
    May tend to kill you while you sleep. Gives in for no apparent reason..
    Usually found as a quiet co-worker.

    Advantages: Easy.

    Disadvantages: Never really worth it

  2. SurfSarge

    SurfSarge misfit

    I can relate to #9
  3. Dennis

    Dennis R.I.P.

    I've been exposed to them all.
    But got lucky enough to find a #7 and married her.
    She is getting more and more expensive as time goes by.
  4. SurfSarge

    SurfSarge misfit

    Lmao I hear ya glad mine has a good business ;D
  5. Dennis

    Dennis R.I.P.

    Whats she do, Woop yer ass till ya give her the money
  6. SurfSarge

    SurfSarge misfit

    Lol Nah..Can't get water from a stone..So she'd be whippn my ass pretty good..She's the bread winner ;D for now till my business takes off we are doing pretty good so far..
  7. TGD_02

    TGD_02 Well-Known Member

  8. 211drinker

    211drinker Lurker

    my current girlfriend was a 4, but i converted her to a 2. good post funny as hell
  9. Dennis

    Dennis R.I.P.