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Todays joke's

Discussion in 'Comedy & Humor' started by Logandk, Jan 1, 2010.

  1. Rubicks

    Rubicks Well-Known Member

  2. Rubicks

    Rubicks Well-Known Member

  3. Rubicks

    Rubicks Well-Known Member

  4. Rubicks

    Rubicks Well-Known Member

  5. Rubicks

    Rubicks Well-Known Member

  6. phyuckew

    phyuckew she "pwetty"

    A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

    'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners . '

    'Go away!' said the old lady. 'I'm broke and haven't got any money!' and she proceeded to close the door.

    Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. 'Don't be too hasty!' he said. 'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. 'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.'

    The old lady stepped back and said, 'Well let me get you a fork, 'cause they cut off my electricity this morning.
     
  7. Rubicks

    Rubicks Well-Known Member

  8. phyuckew

    phyuckew she "pwetty"

    REPLACEMENT WINDOWS

    Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them.

    He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.

    Hellloooo............just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.

    So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!

    Helllooooo? It's been a year! I told him.

    There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up. He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot.
     
    Rubicks likes this.