1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. BeerCandle is a private community You may need to register to view the content of some threads.
  3. You are currently browsing an area which has guest posting enabled. Please be aware that any contributions as a guest will be moderated before public display.

Police Comments

Discussion in 'Comedy & Humor' started by Dennis, Sep 16, 2007.

  1. Dennis

    Dennis R.I.P.

    These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police
    car videos around the country:

    #16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than
    the one you just went through."

    #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're
    new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while"

    #14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make
    your birth certificate a worthless document."

    #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

    #12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?
    Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing

    #11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess
    that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket,

    #10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor,
    but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm
    the shift supervisor?"

    #9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning
    you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

    #8 "The answer to this last question will determine
    whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse
    a cat or a dog?"

    #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a
    place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy
    and corn dogs and step in monkey-poop."

    #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my
    wife gets a toaster oven."

    #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

    #4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

    #3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to,
    but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

    # 2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker
    is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who
    can post your bail."


    #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?
    You're right, we don't. Sign here."

  2. StuPot

    StuPot Blah blah blah

    I'm gonna have to use that line at some point
  3. Dennis

    Dennis R.I.P.

    In case your not aware.
    My father was a Deputy with the local sheriffs dept.