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Police Comments

Discussion in 'Comedy & Humor' started by Dennis, Sep 16, 2007.

  1. Dennis

    Dennis R.I.P.

    These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police
    car videos around the country:


    #16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than
    the one you just went through."

    #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're
    new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while"

    #14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make
    your birth certificate a worthless document."

    #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

    #12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?
    Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing
    you."

    #11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess
    that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket,
    huh?"

    #10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor,
    but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm
    the shift supervisor?"

    #9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning
    you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

    #8 "The answer to this last question will determine
    whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse
    a cat or a dog?"

    #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a
    place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy
    and corn dogs and step in monkey-poop."

    #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my
    wife gets a toaster oven."

    #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

    #4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

    #3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to,
    but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

    # 2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker
    is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who
    can post your bail."


    AND THE WINNER IS....

    #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?
    You're right, we don't. Sign here."

     
  2. StuPot

    StuPot Blah blah blah

    ;D
    I'm gonna have to use that line at some point
     
  3. Dennis

    Dennis R.I.P.

    In case your not aware.
    My father was a Deputy with the local sheriffs dept.