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Stella Awards

Discussion in 'Web Findings' started by SurfSarge, Sep 24, 2007.

  1. SurfSarge

    SurfSarge misfit

    Hard to believe this stuff could be true . . .

    Stella Awards for this year

    It's time once again to review the winners of the annual 'Stella
    Awards.'

    The 'Stella Awards' are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck
    who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's (in New
    Mexico). That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous and
    ridiculous,yet successful, lawsuits in the United States.

    Here are this year's winners:
    7th Place
    Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000 by a
    jury ofher peers after breaking her ankle when she tripped over a toddler who
    was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
    understandably surprised at the verdict, considering that the misbehaving little
    toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

    ****************

    6th Place

    Nineteen-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical
    expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr.
    Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the
    car whenhe was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

    *******************

    5th Place

    Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house
    he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get
    the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He
    couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage
    locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, so Mr. Dickson found
    himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi
    he found, and a large bag of dry dog food.
    He sued the home owners' insurance company, claiming the
    situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of
    $500,000. In my opinion, this is SO outrageous tha t it should have been 2
    Place.

    ********************

    4th Place

    Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and
    medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door
    neighbors' beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owners' fenced yard.
    The award was less than originally sought, because the jury felt that the
    dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams
    who had climbed over the fenceinto the yard and was shooting it
    repeatedly with a pellet gun.

    *****************************

    3rd Place

    A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
    Lancaster,Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke
    her coccyx (tail bone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had
    thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

    ***************************

    2nd Place

    Kara Walton of Claymo nt, Delaware, successfully sued the owner
    of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom
    window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred
    while Ms. Walton wastrying to sneak through the window in the ladies'
    room to avoid payingthe $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental
    expenses.

    ****************


    1st Place (drum roll, please)

    This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma
    City,Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand-new, 32-foot-long
    Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home from an OU football game
    -- having driven onto the freeway -- she set the cruise control at 70 mph
    and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back to make herself a
    sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left thefreeway, crashed and overturned.
    Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual
    that she couldn't actually do that.The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a
    new motor home. The company actually changed its manuals on the basis
    of this law suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.

    P.S.

    I think the jury pool is 'dumbing down'!!!!! None of this speaks
    well for Americasystem. May the good Lord keep us not only separated from
    idiots like these but safe from them,as well.
     
  2. Osiris7790

    Osiris7790 Well-Known Member

    too funny. this shit is fucked up. i wanna stab all of these people.