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THE DARWIN AWARDS

Discussion in 'Comedy & Humor' started by Dennis, Nov 20, 2007.

  1. Dennis

    Dennis R.I.P.

    THE DARWIN AWARDS - November 2007
    > --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+
    >
    > Medical stories sought for a publication aimed at paramedics,
    > nurses, doctors, and all those who rescue people from their
    > best and brightest dumb ideas. For inspiration, read on:
    >
    > PERSONAL ACCOUNT: Hedge Your Bets (near miss)
    >
    > 2007, Ontario, Canada || My friend's daughter is a plastic surgeon
    > with expertise in reconstructive surgery. Recently a patient was
    > rushed into the hospital, needing a surgeon to reattach the tips
    > of his fingers to his left hand.
    >
    > While taking the patient history, it was found that this bright chap
    > got the idea of holding his lawn mower sideways and applying it
    > to his hedge. He was holding the mower deck, trimming the hedge,
    > and things went well until the weight of the mower got to be
    > a bit much. He readjusted his grip on the mower deck, and
    > that was when the blade bit him.
    >
    > When my friend's daughter was almost finished with the complex job
    > of sewing this patient back together, another patient came in with
    > the same injury! On investigation, it was found that he, too,
    > had been using his mower to trim his hedge. Apparently this man
    > was a neighbor of the first patient. He watched his neighbor
    > trim his hedge, and thought it was a bright idea.
    >
    > Often fact is so much weirder than fiction.
    > --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+
    > From Randy Cassingham's book, The Stella Awards, comes this...
    >
    > DARWIN AWARD: ZAP!
    >
    > (2003, California) John, a real estate attorney, was skimming leaves
    > from his pool when he noticed a palm frond caught in the power lines.
    > Years of education equipped John with enough reasoning power to
    > become a successful litigator. Yet his education did not equip him
    > with sufficient acumen to avoid becoming a toasty critter, when he
    > reached up with the long metal pole and poked at the palm frond.
    > John was, for once, the path of least resistance.
    >
    > His family, perhaps as an homage to his litigation skills, sued
    > both the utility company and the pool supply store, which failed
    > to disclose the danger of using the pool skimmer on power lines.