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When girls don't put out!!

Discussion in 'Comedy & Humor' started by scx1984, Dec 23, 2007.

  1. scx1984

    scx1984 Lurker

    Another funny email from my buddy Jay.

    When girls don't put out!!
    This was written by a guy ... it's pretty damn smart.

    Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

    FOR EXAMPLE:

    One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

    I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

    'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

    We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
    dear, let's go to the cashier.'

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

    I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.


    Alright Ladies. Forward this if you agree. Hell even if you disagree, forward it anyway.

    Men, forward this if you have BALLS !!!!
     
  2. SurfSarge

    SurfSarge misfit

    Sending to the wife right now...LMAOO that was great! O0
     
  3. Butterz

    Butterz Well-Known Member

    I've read that men have the instinct to display a stronger sexual drive than a woman because of the 'hunter' mentality, it is in man's genetic makeup to be the aggressor when it comes to reproduction (as well as other areas). Supposedly, it is necessary for a man to have this urge, just to prevent extinction. If you think about it, kinda makes sense...just look at all the lame shit we have to put up with before, during and after we get laid. lol

    Women on the other hand, tend to use more common sense (also instinct) when it comes to a mating partner. Women have 'Provider' expectations with a mate, whether they focus more on material, physical, emotional, etc. is the sole choice of each woman, but regardless, a woman wants all or some of those needs met to her satisfaction before she accepts her role in the reproductive process.

    I make no claim that this is indeed 'factual', it may very well be a theory, but it was an interesting read.

    Women need to feel love to make love, men need to make love to feel love.