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The Pharmacist

Discussion in 'Comedy & Humor' started by Dennis, May 7, 2007.

  1. Dennis

    Dennis R.I.P.

    The Pharmacist


    >
    >
    >
    > Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by
    >
    > his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "The pharmacist insulted
    me
    > terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times
    >
    > before he would answer the phone."
    >
    >
    >
    > Immediatley, the husband drove downtown to confront
    >
    > the pharmacist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than
    a
    >
    > word, the pharmacist told him, "Now, just a minute, listen to my side
    of
    > the
    > story."
    >
    >
    >
    > The pharmacist begins, "This morning my alarm failed to go off, so I
    was
    > late getting up. I went
    >
    > without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that
    I'd
    > locked the house with
    >
    > both my house and car keys inside. I had to break a
    >
    > window to get my keys. Then, driving a little too fast, I got a
    speeding
    >
    > ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a
    > flat
    >
    > tire.
    >
    >
    >
    > When I finally got to the store, a bunch of people
    >
    > were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started
    > waiting
    >
    > on these people. All the time, the darn phone was ringing off the
    hook."
    >
    >
    >
    > He continued, "Then, I had to break a roll of
    >
    > nickles against the cash register drawer to make change and they
    spilled
    > all
    >
    > over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up
    >
    > the nickles and the phone was still ringing. When I came up, I
    cracked
    >
    > my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a
    >
    > showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the
    > floor
    >
    > and broke.
    >
    >
    >
    > Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up. I finally got
    >
    > back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use
    a
    > rectal thermometer.
    >
    > And believe me, mister, as God as My witness, all I did was tell
    her!"

     
  2. ICE420

    ICE420 Active Member

    The Pharmacist 2.

    Virgin girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night

    and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a

    big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that

    after dinner, she would like to go out and make love

    for the first time.

    * * * * * * * * *

    Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex

    before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get

    some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and

    the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.

    He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and

    sex.

    * * * * * * * * *

    At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many

    condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family

    pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he

    thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

    * * * * * * * * *

    That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents

    house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm

    so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

    * * * * * * * * *

    The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table

    where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly

    offers to say grace and bows his head.

    * * * * * * * * *

    A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,

    with his head down.

    * * * * * * * * *

    10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

    * * * * * * * * *

    Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the

    girlfriend leans over and whispers to the

    boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

    * * * * * * * *

    The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your

    father was a pharmacist."