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THE PERFECT DAY

Discussion in 'Comedy & Humor' started by Dennis, Jun 14, 2007.

  1. Dennis

    Dennis R.I.P.

    THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HER
    8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses
    8:30 Weigh in 2kg lighter than yesterday
    8:45 Breakfast in bed - Freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants;
    open presents -expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner
    9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
    10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer
    10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo condition, blow dry
    12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe
    12:45 Catch sight of boyfriend's ex and notices she has gained 7kg
    13:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
    15:00 Nap
    16:00 3 dozen roses delivered by florist - card is from secret admirer
    16:15 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but
    gentle hunk who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
    17:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before
    full length mirror
    19:30 Candle lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments
    received from other diners/dancers
    22:00 Hot shower [alone]
    22:50 Carried to bed...[Freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen]
    23:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
    23:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms
    and

    THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HIM
    6:00 Alarm
    6:15 Blow job
    6:30 Massive satisfying dump while reading the sports section
    7:00 Breakfast - rump steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by
    naked buxom wench
    7:30 Limo arrives
    7:45 Several Whiskeys en-route to airport
    9:15 Flight in personal Lear Jet
    9:30 Limo to Riverside Oaks Golf Club [Blow job en-route]
    9:45 Play front nine [2 under]
    11:45 Lunch - Pie, chips and gravy, 3 lagers and a bottle of Dom Perignon
    12:15 Blow job
    12:30 Play back nine [4 under]
    14:15 Limo back to airport
    14:30 Fly to Monte Carlo
    15:30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew [all nude]
    16:30 Land world record Marlin [1234lbs] on light tackle
    17:00 Fly home - massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson
    18:45 Shit, shower, shave
    19:00 Watch news - Brad Pitt assassinated; marajuana and porn legalised
    19:30 Dinner - Lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon, big juicy fillet
    steak followed by Ice cream served on a pair of tits
    21:00 Napoleon Brandy and Cohuna cigar in front of wall size TV as you
    watch Match of the Day
    21:30 Sex with three women [all with lesbian tendencies]
    23:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and cleansing ale
    23:30 Night cap blow job
    23:45 In bed alone
    23:50 A 12 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog
    to leave the room

     
  2. SurfSarge

    SurfSarge misfit

    That is too perfect!